Amy Schumer’s Not-So-Romantic Paris Visit

You were supposed to be here last week and
at the last minute, that morning, you cancelled because you had fever and
you were sick.>>Yeah.
>>You were gonna have healers come over. How’d that work out?>>I have cupping marks on my butt.>>Did it work?>>[LAUGH]
>>Yes, it did work.>>Cupping works?>>They were really good. Cupping works.>>Wow.>>And I’m not talking about you know,
I mean like, with the cups.>>[LAUGH]
>>Yes, I feel a lot better but it turns out if you work really
hard non-stop for 15 years and don’t take a break,
it’s not like good for your body. [LAUGH]
>>Yes.>>I didn’t know.>>Your body.>>I came here before I ever went
on the road ever 10 years ago.>>Yes.
>>It was like is it gonna be good and you’re like mm-huh. And you’re telling the truth, it’s hard.>>It’s hard. It’s hard to be on the road, because you’re in a different
hotel room all the time. Which is why I said everyone
should start coming to me.>>Just come to you.
>>And I got a show. So they would come to me.>>This is great.>>Because touring is harder.>>She’s smart, you’re smart.>>[APPLAUSE]
>>I’m stupid.>>Yeah.>>That’s nice. You bring everything to you, the seasons.>>Yeah, everything, these are all gifts. These are all people
that are like sacrifices. That’s a bowl of onions, I think.>>[LAUGH]
>>I don’t know that that’s good.>>Yeah, so congratulations. You’re in love, you’re happy. You have a boyfriend since I saw you last.>>Yes.>>Thank you.>>[APPLAUSE]
>>Thank you. He’s very lucky.>>[LAUGH]
>>I think it was kind of because of my appearance on here last time. He saw my outfit and he was like,
I wanna get involved in this.>>Really?>>[LAUGH]
>>Yeah.>>Did you have a outfit that was skimpy?>>I was roller skating
in front of Hillary.>>It was that, that’s right.>>Obviously he was like hm. Dating app? Yeah, we met and I think neither of
us were really looking for anything. But we really liked each other right away. And I liked him so much,
I was like I’m gonna make him wait. And I did. All through dinner.>>[LAUGH]
>>No, we didn’t go to dinner.>>[LAUGH]
>>But he was awesome. We’ve been very honest with each other. I was like upfront I was
like look I’m realistic. I know for a fact that I
don’t have any diseases left.>>[LAUGH]
>>[LAUGH]>>[LAUGH]>>You guys have never been tested, Ellen’s audience?>>[LAUGH]
>>Sorry, I know it’s the holidays.>>[LAUGH]
>>But we just had our year anniversary, that’s very cute.>>[APPLAUSE]
>>Thank you, we need it. It’s still early,
we’re still, like, lying.>>[LAUGH]
>>Neither of us had ever been to France because we’re both trash.>>Right.
>>[LAUGH]>>And so, we were like, let’s go. And so we go and it was like we wanna be romantic. It’s an intimidating city.
And then we had one of those hotel rooms where the bathroom, when you’re in it and
someone goes like [COUGH], you hear it loudly in the whole room.
You can hear everything. And we both got violent food poisoning. Violent. And so it hits him first. And he’s in there just, blah, blah, blah. And then the way it
manifested itself in me.>>[LAUGH]
>>Is basically I was in there just like. How do I say this? Just kind of like [SOUND] machine gun. [SOUND] And I knew it was over. I’m yelling at him. It was so great dating you,
I wish you the best luck, you’re gonna meet the greatest girl,
but I knew.>>[LAUGH]
>>I knew it was over.>>[LAUGH]
>>[LAUGH]>>Who can make it through that? And then I thought,
I’m just gonna be the one with that end. And he’s going back in there, he’s put his
head where I was just [SOUND] and then->>[LAUGH]>>Under a year, we’re together. But then he hears me go! And I grab the trash, and
I had to, so all ends.>>[LAUGH]
>>I was like the fountain on Friends, you know, basically.>>[LAUGH]
>>And that is when I learned not to ever throw up
in a wicker basket.>>[LAUGH]
>>Happy holidays, guys.>>[LAUGH]
>>That’s when you learned.>>[APPLAUSE]
>>[APPLAUSE]>>My God, my God.>>We’re still together.

100 thoughts on “Amy Schumer’s Not-So-Romantic Paris Visit

  1. Fucking hilarious Amy machine gun ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

  2. Amy is piss funny! And how good is Ellenโ€™s laugh? Not many people can make Ellen crack up for that long.. super talent!

  3. I can't get over this interview!
    I lost count to how many times I've watch it!! This is one of the best I love it๐Ÿค—๐Ÿค—๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

  4. Yโ€™all can stop asking why we hate Amy Schumer, search up โ€œPewdiepie Amy Schumerโ€ he recently made a video on her pathetic ass

  5. I had this on while in the office and I had to fake coughs to suppress my laughter. I thought I was going to choke xD Gotta love her. She's so real!

  6. I love how that you can hear someone at 3:20 repeat "MACHINE GUN!" over and over again as she laughed her ass off๐Ÿ˜‚

  7. Love Amy and Ellen!!!!! By far my favorite comedian and talk show host ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿป

  8. Suddenly the "noise" she made sounds like the beginning of "Hafanana" by Afric Simone O_o

  9. There are very few female comedians that really make me laugh. I mean bust a gut laughing… Ellen, Rosie O'Donnell, and Amy Schumer.

  10. Any Schumer and David Spade are the only comedians that make Ellen choke-laugh while being interviewed by her. Itโ€™s hilarious! ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐ŸŽ‰๐ŸŽ‰

  11. Amy is one realistic n hilarious person. Much better than Jennifer Lawrence who force herself to be funny. Amy is just naturally funny๐ŸคŸ๐ŸคŸ

  12. Well I'll never get those 4 minutes back from my life…
    Her material:
    โ€ขSlutty an drunk
    โ€ขmy vagina
    โ€ขtryin to own a heckler (fails)
    โ€ขmy vagina again
    โ€ข"goodnight.. where's my paycheck I didn't deserve"

  13. i love her so much she is hilarious. it comes natural to her ๐Ÿ˜‚โค๏ธโค๏ธ sheโ€™s always keeping it real and never sugar coats any of her stories

  14. I think I'm the only person that finds her funny and beautiful I don't like people bullying her and attacking her for nothing

  15. And in two years she broke up with him, got with and married a different dude and got pregnant. A lot happened to her in just two years!!

  16. This was sooooo great… But she used the exact same things in her leather special… Like EXACT same thing, so that's kinda uncool… But my belief that she is the coolest women in the world and the world needs more people like her has not wavered..

  17. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚….. trrrrirreeeuuuuu ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

  18. If you want killer abs just watch a couple of videos of Amy Schumer

    Side effects: you might cry from laughing so hard

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