Brewstew – Stomach Flu


https://brewstew.com I think we can all agree, that getting the flu sucks! Nobody wants to be hovering over a toilet all day,
like you’re some kind of.. Olsen twin And every time I get the flu,
I get it the exact same way every single time I’d be standing there at work, feeling like shit My stomach’s like
BRLRLRLVRLVRBLRLBRLBLRLRBLRWLEGH Somebody would walk up to you,
“Man, you look like shit!” “Oh, thanks a lot! That’s what I was going for!” “It’s probably ‘cuz I feel like shit, you dumbass!” “Oh, you probably have what I had!
I had a bad case of poops!” Like, “What the fuck did you just say?
Why did you come to work then, huh?” “Well, I thought I’d come in
and breathe on everybody..” “Maybe lick all the doorknobs in this place” So then I’ll come home and..
I’m still feeling like shit! But I lie to myself, like
“Nnnaah, I’m not getting sick!” “I.. I ate some Pizza Rolls four days ago,
that’s probably what it was!” “Probably Pizza Rolls!” And as soon as you think that,
that’s when it hits ya You burst through the bathroom door *BOOOOM* You’re not sure if you’re gonna throw up
or you’re gonna shit your pants Like, “Oh, I guess I’ll just hang out
in the bathtub, see what happens” And when I have the flu,
I just can’t get off the toilet I’d be sitting there all fucking day! “Hey can you come out here now?” Like, “Well, I’d fucking love to..” “.. If I wasn’t so sure I’d shit in my pants
as soon as I walk out the door” Hours go by and I’m still sitting there I’m taking meals on the toilet Which is gross, I know
You’re not supposed to eat while you’re poopin’ I’ve only ever done that once
and that was when I was eating an ice cream cone And I had to poop What do you do in a situation like that? Well, you fuckin’..
eat your ice cream cone while you’re poopin’! You’re not gonna let it melt!
Waste a perfectly good ice cream cone! Don’t judge me, I still think it was a good decision! I’d sit there for so long, I’d think,
“Man, am I gonna make it? Am I gonna die here?” “Well, he was a good man.
He just couldn’t hold the poop in his butt” But at least I wasn’t throwing up The last time I threw up from the flu
is when I was nine years old *Pop* And I puked all over my Sega Genesis controller And every time you throw up,
you remember exactly what you ate before you did it And it’s always some stupid-ass combination of food Shit, that doesn’t even make sense Yeah, let’s.. let’s eat pizza and cereal! How about some.. some pickles and hot chocolate? Maybe some popcorn
and cat litter, yeah, good choice! And on that faithful night I had a nutritious meal
of Fritos and Gummy bears You know, what that fuckin’
looks like, coming back up? Like a goddamn nightmare, that’s what it looks like Now I can’t eat Fritos anymore, ’cause it reminds me
of throwing up on 16-bit videogame systems But at least I was never
the kid who threw up in class In sixth grade I sat next to a kid, named Jacob And one day we were balls-deep in a spelling test And he raised his hand and said, “Ms. Faztech.. I don’t feel very..” *BLUERGH* “OH YOU SICK LITTLE MONKEY!” Threw up all over my goddamn desk The teacher’s shuffling kids out of the room,
like building’s on fire And on that day we had recess for like an hour While the janitor cleaned up
the hellhole of a classroom Jacob left behind All the macaroni and cheese and Skittles
that he ate for lunch that day And from that day on, Jacob was no longer Jacob He was the kid who threw up in class Which is just a notch above
the kid who pissed himself in class It’s something you’re never gonna live down I’ve seen him the other day, I was like,
“Hey, Jacob! What’s going on?” “Are you gonna fuckin’ throw up
all over the goddamn place again? You drunk maniac!”

100 thoughts on “Brewstew – Stomach Flu

  1. Just FYI it’s “FATEful night’’ not ‘’FAITHful night’’. Jesus Tyler how long have you been saying it like that? What are you from FAITH planet are you some kind of FAITH person? (Not hating, its a Rick and Morty reference for those who didn’t get it)

  2. I remember one time when I was in kindergarten this kid in my class thought it would be cool to chug orange juice

    I think you know what that looked like

  3. I threw up in seventh grade all over the hallway and like atleast 2 weeks everyone hated me for that and i got bullied 3 times more after that my seventh grade was shittttt literal shit i hated everyone except 2 people my "friends"

  4. I had Fritos and a hot coconut in Hawaii let’s just say that plus a one day mountain road trip equals a fuck ton of bad memories n shit
    btw I love your vids tyler

  5. I remember once when I ate so many waffles with syrup when I threw up it smelled like maple syrup and I was like 5 so I just kept asking my mom for egos now I won’t even eat them

  6. This makes me remember of when i had dihoreea (fuck the spelling) for 3 days and i still had to go to school. Honestly i nearly shat myself in science while doing some weird acid experiment

    Edit: i also bupred alot and it smelled and tasted like rotten eggs

  7. My friend's girlfriend had the stomach flu after eating chicken nuggets and jello. He said she made the bed a biohazard with her ass lol.

  8. i had the flue right after i got my flue shot and it was where i couldn't walk………………….WHAT THE F*** IF IM GOING TO BE CENSORED IM GANNA DO IT REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!

  9. I had raman that i regret when i had a slurp but i still ate it with tortea chips and later i felt like throwing up when i started to eat popcorn i refused twice the 3rd time i just throw up to take the pain away and my whole family has acid refux and do not have it exept me look it up if you do not know what it is and some time when u throw up its from me not eating anything and i used to drink milkshakes near the baby isle because i was under weight and i have a little brother and we are almost 2 years apart and he is the one to beat the crap out of you for a minute or so or less

  10. I live fritos and i only throw up in the the tolet in the nurses office once and i felt like throwing up like 3 or 2 times i did not i thought what the heck i feel terrible and feel like throwing up and once it was my backpack it smelt like my cats bum and how i know what is melts like sometime i pet her when im behind her she shows her bum hole at me when im sitting down or laying down to go to sleep on my parents water bed and my dad is next to me and it does not bother me because the water bed is so soft and you van change the temperture on it and you do not need a purple bed get a water bed it is equaly soft and if you get a hole in the water bed you can patch it up with strong glue and the plastic near the seal part not the water beds plastic the part that sticks out and you can see every side except the bottom

  11. I remember in 7th grade gym class, this 6th grader got nailed in the stomach with a dodgeball, and the blue slurpee he had been drinking earlier was now all over the floor. Gym class was cut short that day, and we just went back to doing boring shit all day.

  12. My parents are from India and I’m ALWAYS eating spicy food (which I like) but when ever I vomit I feel a spicy sensation in the back of my throat which is why I hate vomiting

  13. I know this sounds disgusting but I went to school one time and I didn't feel so good but I was throwing up and crapping myself at the same time ;-;

  14. Tbh I rather it not come out my mouth because if you never thrown up before you don't know what hell on earth is

  15. One time we were about to take a test in history and I tell the teacher I'm about to throw up and he tells me to go and on my way out almost at the door I throw up… Alot so then the next day I come back and then we have to take the test then and everyones thanking me because they were going to fail this was in 7th grade btw

  16. I had lomg resses dew to a kid having anextrem tempr tantrum the resin we had to lats tatrem someones arm was broken

  17. My Name Is Amanda I Was In 6th Grade I Was Eating A Spicy Chicken Sandwich My Stomach Started Hurting Really Bad And I Stayed In The Bathroom For A 1 Hour And I Went Home I Had Diarrhea And I Was Vomiting And I Went Back To School I Didn't Eat Lunch For 4 Days (Now To 7th Grade) I Was In 7th Grade I Had A Really Bad Stomach Ache After Lunch I Was Complaining About It I I Was Vomiting In Class And I Went Home And Sleep And I Had The Stomach Flu Watch Spongebob And Drink Ginger Ale I Had A Head Ache Too And A Sore Throat And Diarrhea Runny Nose And Watery Eyes After Vomiting And I Stayed Home From School For 6 Days (6 Days Later )I Went Back To School But I Didn't Eat Lunch For 3 Days (Once Again I Didn't Eat Lunch 3 And 4 Days In 6th And 7th Grade ) Then I Eat Lunch Again At School Then I Was In 8th Grade I Had A Stomach Ache And After Breakfast And Lunch I Was Crying And Drink Some Water And I Went To The Bathroom I Want In There For 5 Hours And I Went Back To Class And I 2 Hours Later I Felt Better.

  18. I puked up in class once, we were all sat in a circle cuz it was storytime and the night before i had an entire bag of tangerines.
    Anyway long story short as im running to the bathroom to try and minimize the mess ive already created, puke infront of myself slip in it, slide my ass right into the bathroom and break a ceramic sink before i get up and choose to (in my infinite wisdom) puke in the urinal.

    BONUS
    Once my teacher mopped it up (janitors day off) he stepped backwards into the mop bucket, fell over and got it all over the floor and himself

  19. That Jacob story surprised me since it reminds me of something I did and my names Jacob but sadly I’m not the one in the story

  20. The time when i had the flu is back from April 2016, so during the middle of the night i wake up feeling kind of funny and warm, and at 6 AM i told my mom that i was feeling kind of warm, she took my temperature and guess what? It was a 102 degree fahrenheit, yeah it was pretty damn bad, so it caused me to skip school for a week, and the next day it got worse, i felt very weak, did not eat and did not have any strength no more, she took my temperature and it wen't up one more than a 102, she took me to the doctor, and they were gonna get my blood drawn basically, but instead, they swab my throat, and that was it, so i just had to take some medicine eat something healthy and that was it, i was only sick for maybe 5 days.

  21. I’ve a story about this. One time Me and 2 of my cousins were staying with my aunt for about a week. And it just so happens that during this time period i had the stomach flu. And my 2 cousins thought about having the bright idea of laying in bed with me and watching Robot Chicken. And you all know we all ended up sick. So that was an interesting experience of getting closer with my cousins by puking in our aunts bed together. Of course our aunt was all stressed she had to take care of 3 sick children on her own. So yeah that’s my story. And whenever one of us brings it up we all look back and laugh.

  22. Lol we used to do beer pong as 13 year olds but isntead of beer we use vinegar, lol we sit there for hours throwing up than go back

  23. When he said “before you throw up you eat a random combination of food” I didn’t eat I drank only water for two days straight I threw up so damn much

  24. I’m sixth grade I thought I had a silent fart but it was that good old stomach flu. Man I still get hell about it from these black kids till this day.

  25. Stomach Flu: IM BACK BABY! >:) Body:OH F*CK EVERYBODY PREPARE TO BATTLE! You: Ah Sh*t The Stomach Flu Is Back AGAIN Groan

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